


B.

by confundere



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-16 13:44:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14812466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confundere/pseuds/confundere
Summary: It's the one-hour armistice of the Battle of Hogwarts and Barnaby Lee's struggling with where his loyalty lies.  Always a follower.  Except when it counts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little ficlet I couldn't get out of my head. I didn't hate it so I decided to post it. Hope you enjoy!  
> Edit: Oops, there's a chapter 2 now.

Barnaby Lee never wanted to be here.  He never wanted to see his former classmates slaughtered.  He could never call all of them his friends but that would never mean he wanted them dead.  He never wanted to hear that high, cold laugh.  He never wanted to serve his father as his father served the Dark Lord.

He never wanted any of this.

 

Barnaby stood in the forbidden forest alongside his father and the other Death Eaters listening to The Dark Lord make his speech.  The first time he'd ever been in there was when Merula had dared him to go in during their third year. He'd never admit it but he almost pissed himself when he stepped on a branch and it made a loud enough crack for him to jump a foot into the air.  After that, it had always been with his friends.  He frowned at the thought, it felt like a thousand years ago.  He missed them.  Now it felt colder and darker than it ever had, surrounded by people he could only ever consider to be enemies.

"Bring me Harry Potter!" A voice, the same familiar voice he'd been serving for the past few years cut through the ringing in his ears.

They weren't going to do it.  He knew he wasn't the brightest person but he knew that much.  He also knew it was stupid to resist.  No one could resist the Dark Lord and live.  His own mother didn't.

And yet… Barnaby took a step.  Away from the death eaters.  Away from the Dark Lord. 

Towards Hogwarts.

"What are you doing, boy?" His father's harsh voice whispered behind him.

He took a sharp breath inwards.  He thought he was being ignored.  He kept walking.

"Barnaby, you take another step and I will make sure you'll wish you were never born." There was venom in his voice.  His father meant it.

Jokes on him though, he already wished that most days.

Except that one day.

 

_"Finish her off." His father said as he left the room, leaving Barnaby alone with Nobyl and the body of the muggle-born. "She obviously isn't useful to us."_

_He lifted his wand towards her and Nobyl leant into it, forehead almost touching it, resolute._

_"Do it."  she said simply._  
  
_He set his jaw but he couldn't seem to stop his whole arm from shaking._

_Blue, blue eyes.  Bruise forming across her right cheekbone, split lip, blond hair matted and tangled, bloodshot red eyes bringing out the blue.  It was the first time he'd seen her in years._

_He felt his lip quivering._

_He lowered his wand and said_ _"If we want to make this convincing you might have to punch me in the face."_

 

Barnaby's whole body was frozen in place.  No one else was paying attention to him.  The Dark Lord was still making his speech, demanding they bring him The Boy Who Lived.

He wanted to take another step but he couldn't.  He wanted to join them, he wanted to believe in something.  He just couldn't.

 

_Always a follower, huh Lee? Can't find a mind of your own?  They must've found yours in the discount bin._

 

"Shut up." He said to no one in particular.

"What was that, boy?"

Barnaby went to take a step back.

 

_"B!"_

_Someone had flown by him.  Mounted on a broom and armored in what seemed to be a quidditch uniform dyed all black.  The only colour visible on them was an old Gryffindor flag wrapped tightly around their bicep and the crimson red shaft of the broomstick.  They pulled down their hood._

_Nobyl._

_Nobyl, wearing the same determined expression she did the last time he saw her._

_She held out her hand, a soft expression washing across her face in the flickering light of casted spells._

_"I- I can't."_

_"Yes you_ can."

_"Chelsea, I-" he shook his head._

_"Nobyl!" another person on a broomstick called out to her._

_She frowned, then flew off back into the fray brandishing a blood-stained beater's bat._

 

He should've known she would be here.

 

_"B."_

 

"Barnaby." his father said.

 

_"B."_

 

"You've always been a disappointment."

 

_"B."_

 

"Boy!"

 

_"Come with me."_

_"I can't."_

 

"BARNABY!"

 

And he walked away.

He _could_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read this before you'll probably notice I changed a couple things. I edited some canon-compliance discrepancies in chapter 1.  
> I also upped the rating a bit due to chapter 2 and added some more tags to be safe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's always a risk being a deserter.

  
“Hear anything about Harry yet?”

“No.”

Chelsea breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.” she said trying not to decipher whether it _was_ , in fact, a good thing.

Her and Oliver Wood sat on the ruined steps of Hogwarts facing the Forbidden Forest. Neville had already gone into the Great Hall to check on everyone but her and Oliver sat exhausted; both from the battle and from collecting the fallen with Neville during the armistice. Voldemort had called a brief ceasefire but she had to keep moving, had to keep being useful because if she didn’t, she’d turn into a useless puddle of despair. They’d been moving for a while without stopping or resting and she didn’t want to sit but she almost collapsed under the weight of the last body and Wood insisted she took a break.

She felt so weak.

“I’m sure we’ll have more time later.” He had said, battle weary and eyes missing that usual spark but still the optimist that he always was.

Everything was a mess. There was rubble everywhere, the quidditch field was on fire, statues lay strewn in pieces around the courtyard. They didn’t even bother counting the amount of people they lost in the battle and yet he still acted like everything was going to be okay. It was like every match after Charlie Weasley left before her last year with Wood trying to desperately convince the rest of the team they could definitely still win.

If war was a quidditch match and Harry Potter was their prized seeker.

But someone wanted to kill him.

She scrapped the analogy.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Fine.”

“Nobyl.”

"I’m functioning." she responded after giving him a side-eye at being scolded. "You?”

He sighed trying to brush the soot from his pants. “Functioning.”

They sat in silence a little longer before he broke it again.

“I’m sorry.”

“About?”

“Everyone.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“Yeah.”

 

The thinking was stifling. Her mind kept running back to Tonks and Lupin and baby Teddy and Fred and everyone else. She almost broke down again, the cracks in her armor widening like they always do when confronted with the casualties before they heard footsteps on the bridge and they stood up in alarm.

The figure raised both their arms, wand in hand.

“ _Expelliarmus_!” Wood shouted, flourishing his wand and the person’s wand flew out of their hand and landed neatly at her feet. She picked it up.

“I was- I was gonna drop it anyway.” They said, voice shaky and breathless.

She recognized that voice. She’d recognize it any day.

“B!” she yelled and ran towards them as Wood looked on in shock.

“Are you alright?” she asked grabbing hold of the lapels of the grubby cloak he was wearing. It was Barnaby. Chelsea almost couldn’t believe her eyes. She looked him up and down inspecting for any major injuries or cuts or anything at all that needed to be tended to urgently. He was bruised as much as anyone else. His lip was split and there was a long angry scratch running horizontally along the side of his face but all-in-all... He was whole. It was enough for now.

“Me? Are you okay?” Barnaby responded quizzically, not shying away from the sudden triage he was getting.

“You got away!”

“I… left, yeah.” he looked down at his feet.

He left. He left. He finally left. He finally got out of under his family's shadow but there was still the after that remained not just the now and what would happen if the ministry decided to convict everyone no matter how small the crimes? Would he get the Kiss? Would he get sent to Azkaban, a fate worse then death, and she'd never see one of her best friends again while he suffered alone?

“You’ll get full pardon.” Chelsea stated simply.

He frowned, lines forming in his face that she'd never seen before. “Chelsea, that’s not possible.”

“You’ll. Get. Full. Pardon.” She said punctuating every word. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“You’re one person! And I- I did some really bad things.” He stuttered. “I don’t- I don’t deserve it.” He was wringing his hands together and flicking his bloodshot eyes from side to side nervously.

She wanted him to stop hurting. She wanted to destroy whoever did this to her sweet, loveable, bull-headed best friend.

“Barnaby!”

Barnaby whipped his head toward the shout.

A figure had shadow-stepped into the clearing following after him. It was Augustus, Barnaby's older brother. He was the oldest of the three boys and by far the least reasonable of his two brothers. Before You-Know-Who's return, August was a successful artefact trader that specialized in stolen works and Items of the Dark Arts. He was clad in equally grubby robes and his usually perfectly coiffed, curly locks were sticking out in every direction. She flinched at the sight of him, the memory of the cruciatus curse flashing through her brain.

 

_"Where is the safehouse?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"You were clearly transporting this mudblood now tell me where it is!"_

_Red light then pain. Pain everywhere, fire filling her veins, eyes popping, chest convulsing._

_Then it stopped._

_Relief._

_"Tell me."_

_"No."_

 

He looked more unhinged then usual.

Chelsea stepped in front of Barnaby, trying to block him to the best of her ability even with the size difference.

“Come near him and I swear to God, August, you’ll regret it.” She said with venom dripping from her tongue.

As much as Barnaby seemed to want to, he made no move to step in front of her.

“Or what? I’ll have to go though you?” August asked, eyebrow raised.

She shrugged. “I thought that sounded a bit cliché , so…”

August let out a laugh. “You always did have a mouth on you. Besides, have you forgot we’re wizards? I don’t have to take a single step to do some damage. Oh wait-” He paused, thinking. “Right. Half-blood. Not surprising you’d think back to your primitive roots.”

“You’re not supposed to be here. This is a ceasefire. You’re defying a direct order by being here.” Oliver said with a snarl and walked up to stand beside the two of them, wand at the ready.

August looked at Wood, lip curling. “I’m here on our father’s orders actually.”

“Oh, so he’s the one defying the direct order?” asked Chelsea.

“Enough!” he snapped. “Barney, come with me.”

“Don’t call me that.” Barnaby shook his head. “What happens if I don’t?”

“I’ve been instructed to bring you back alive despite you being a traitorous idiot so I won’t be killing you. But I can make it so you can’t fight back.”

“Over. My. Dead. Body.” Chelsea yelled raising her wand, Barnaby’s still held in her left hand.

“Okay,” he shrugged and pointed his wand.

“ _Avada kedavra_!” A flash of green light streamed past her and Augusts body crumpled to the ground in a lifeless heap.

Barnaby had pulled his wand out of her hand and killed him before he could kill her. He’d saved her life. Again.

Wood looked at Barnaby, mouth agape. “Those… were some reflexes. How did you-”

Another figure shadow-stepped into the clearing before he could finish and looked at the body in front of him.

“Barnaby." A forlorn look appeared on the figures face as he walked closer to the scene. "What have you done?”

Barnaby’s lip was trembling and his arm was still extended past her. “Garret.”

The middle Lee child. B always had a complicated relationship with him. Working at a zoo for magical creatures never played all that well and he often needed some extra money. Garret would let him work at his restaurant whenever he needed to despite how often he broke things. He was by far the kindest one to him but by the Lee's standards that wasn't saying much. Still stern and cold whenever magic and blood was involved.

“You killed our brother.” He didn’t look angry or vengeful but she couldn’t quite read the expression that was crossing his face.

The three remained ready, wands out.

“It… appears you won’t be returning.” Garret said with a hint of confusion in his voice.

Barnaby didn’t respond so he continued talking. “I had hoped it was a lapse in judgment.”

Silence.

“You know, everyone else thought you let her go. I hoped it was just a mistake but you really did let her go. Good job. Both of you." He said gesturing to Chelsea and Barnaby. "Very convincing. How did you escape after you knocked him out?”

“Why are you always so nice to me when no one’s around?” he yelled, his brothers affirmation breaking his silence.

“I was only trying to guide you.”

“What guidance? Never stopping father and August from punishing me when I make a small mistake?” He was screaming, voice breaking and body shaking with anger. “Dragging me along with you when the Dark Lord came for our family? I didn't want any of this! You hurt my friends! Do you have any idea how it felt when I found out it was her you were torturing?” Barnaby pointed at Chelsea.

Garret flinched. “I see…”

"You always called me stupid. All of you called me stupid and you didn't think I would let her go when you sent me down to kill her alone?" he stopped yelling. "I think you're stupid."

“I’m going back to father with August. I’ll tell him she killed him and that you won’t be returning.”

"NO!" Barnaby protested. "Tell him I did and-"

Garret left with Augusts body, taking the rest of Barnaby's words with him.

A moment passed after his last brother left with Barnaby, Chelsea, and Oliver still standing in formation like they were frozen in time.

Then Barnaby’s wand slipped out of his hand and clattered to the floor. He sunk to his knees, breathing heavily like there was no oxygen left in the air. His forehead touched the broken cobblestone walkway and his entire body started to violently tremble.

Chelsea couldn’t help but to kneel down too and pull him into her, his head resting in the crook of her neck as he did everything in his power not to start sobbing uncontrollably.

“You’re okay, you’re safe, I’ve got you, no one will hurt you, everything will be okay.” She repeated different combinations of those phrases over and over again, not knowing how true they were but saying them regardless because the broken boy she was holding together in her arms needed to hear them more than ever.

 

It felt like hours before she managed to finally calm him. Tear tracks had streaked lines through the ash on his face and his eyes were swollen and red.

“I’m going to take you somewhere safe now okay?” she said softly.

He nodded.

“I think the best place would be the dungeons… If- if it’s not too stifling. A cell by yourself. A lot of Slytherins were locked up, we don’t-” she let out a sigh. “We don’t know how many of them would be happy to hear you were a deserter.” She rested her hands on his shoulders. “I don’t want to lock you up alone but I don’t want someone to come after you or-”

“Chels,” he lifted his head from her shoulder and looked her in the eyes. “I get it.”

She pursed her lips. “Okay.”

 

After convincing Oliver that he didn't have to worry (yes, everything is fine, yes we can trust him, no, I can handle the rest, thank you for the offer) he had gone to The Great Hall to notify McGonagall of what happened.  Chelsea and Barnaby made the slow decent into the dungeons and she couldn't help but shoot worried glances at him; constantly try to read his body language for any sense of discomfort.  He seemed about as okay as one would expect but she always found any silence from him unnerving.

He did just kill his own brother after all.

For her.

A small sense of guilt settled in the pit of her stomach as they kept walking.

 

It didn't take long to find an empty cell and she conjured up a comfier bedroll than the one already in there and some blankets and pillows.

“Here.” He said holding his wand out to her.

She put her hand up. “No, keep it.”

“Just take it.”

“What if you need it?”

“I don’t need magic to protect myself. I'm pretty good at punching things if you remember.” A wry smile appeared on his face.

“Are you sure?” she asked, gingerly taking the wand from him.

“Yeah, you want people to trust me right? Say I handed it over willingly.”

She gave him a small smile and closed the iron gate with a click not bothering to lock it. “Are you going to be okay?”

He paused as if he was thinking of the correct answer. “Yeah.”

She went to take a step back before he called for her again. “Chels?”

“Yeah?”

"You know I wouldn't have done it right? I couldn't." He said shaking his head.

"Wouldn't have done what?"

"Killed you."

Chelsea furrowed her brow. "I know."

"Do you? Or are you just doing that thing you do when you say what people want to hear?"

She scoffed. "I don't do that."

"Yeah, you do."

"No. I don't.

"Yeah. You do."

"No, I don't. I’m perfectly blunt, thank you. Anyway- " She gave him a pointed look. "Of course I know that. I just needed you to know that."

He smiled incredulously and shook his head. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean I needed you to know... you could fight back against a direct order. That you could make that choice yourself. I mean I could’ve dragged you out kicking and screaming but then-"

"I would’ve kept wondering what would’ve happened if I stayed."

She sighed. “Exactly.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Another smiled graced his lips as he rested his cheek against a metal bar. He almost looked peaceful.

Chelsea soaked in the moment.  
  
Then a sense of urgency appeared, replacing the smile as fast as it came. “Is everyone okay? Our friends? Your sister?”

She wanted to turn and walk away. She didn’t want to talk about it yet.

“Chelsea.” He pleaded, hands clutching the bars, sad, forest green eyes glittering in the lamplight.

“Rowan? Penny? Ben? Rebecca? Bill? Andre?” he rattled off the names and she nodded along. “Charlie? Tulip? Tonks?”

Her eyes fell away at the last name.

“No.” He shook his head. Disbelief.

She nodded, feeling cracks forming in her armor again. “Lupin too.”

“B-but Teddy!”

“I know.” Tears were forming, she felt more cracks appearing. “Harry’s the godfather but no one knows where he is either.”

“He’s not surrendering is he?”

“No one knows what he’s doing.”

“He’ll kill everyone. You-Know-Who.”

“We’ll fight back.”

“You- _We_ can’t win.” He said sadly, hands white-knuckled around the bars.

“We’ll lose even worse if he gets Harry. Besides, we’re not surrendering one of our own.” A question started burning in her mind and she walked back up to the cell. “Why did you come back if you think it’s so hopeless?” she asked, careful not to frame it as an accusation

“I didn’t want to be one of them. Ever.” He shook his head. “I’d rather die than be part of them any longer.”

A sudden softness took over again and she gently pressed her palm to his cheek. “I know.”

“I’d surrender if it meant saving my friends.” He said in a small voice and looked her in the eyes.

The cracks closed.

“We wouldn’t let you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... sorta got away from me.
> 
> Some (very little) changes were made to chapter 1 such as resolving canon compliance issues. I also resolved some relationship issues I had implied in 1 now that I'm farther in the game.
> 
> I wrote this after we get introduced to him in Hogwarts Mystery but before he becomes our friend so the first paragraph doesn't honestly reflect the relationships he made in school.  
> I wasn't aware how sweet and lovable and smiley he was and oh goodness I fell harder for him than I thought I would.
> 
> When I originally wrote this it was under the impression that MC and him had sorta a "love-hate" relationship. More business than anything else so chapter 2 was written both to rectify those discrepancies and continue the story a little. In my universe canon, him and MC had a relationship from years 6 to 7 and ended up breaking up but continuing to be friends (at least until he disappears during the war, oops)
> 
> I can't remember if he ever mentions being an only child or not but I HC him with two successful, older brothers that added more expectations and whatnot.
> 
> Jacob is still alive in this universe! I'm gonna guess we find him 7th year. He's not mentioned because my canon Jacob isn't at the battle. Chelsea's sister, Rebecca, is her step-sister who is my friends OC.
> 
> Creative liberty was taken with the death-eaters and their shadowy apparating which I've dubbed shadow-stepping.  
> While the movies annoy me with the whole "no flying unaided" I admit I love the black smoke that follows them.  
> Aesthetic. 
> 
> Also more creative liberty was taken with the whole "why is no one else there"?  
> Lets pretend that everyone was busy tending to the wounded and too tired to notice all the commotion, okay?  
> Or maybe they all trusted the armistice and let down their guard (Poor Moody is turning in his grave).
> 
> This is the final chapter (I promise) and if I were to continue this (I probably will) it'll be a separate fic.
> 
> Thanks for reading guys! I had so much fun with this.


End file.
